Paninometti

La Fabuleux Pluie

2011-06-16T12:32:00.000+05:30

Turn-Ons:
Grass, rural, Light bulbs, Short Hair, Old things,
Secluded open spaces, Monsoon, Silence,
Water-Bodies, Reverb, Organic, Skirts and
Assorted Manga & Anime female characters.

Turn Offs:
Humongous hurricanes next door.

Baby Fever

2011-06-07T23:41:00.000+05:30

Spot The Difference

2011-05-06T15:07:00.002+05:30

Can you spot the difference?

People you fancy but shouldn't (part 2)

2011-02-01T00:04:00.006+05:30

Roxanne Ritchi from Megamind.

Yes, of course!

"Untitled"

2011-01-28T14:57:00.001+05:30

"UNTITLED (carnival)"

"UNTITLED (doglove pt.3)"

"UNTITLED (no service)"

"UNTITLED (neon tunnel)"

Interview: Farook Imafarce: Air sculptor

2010-12-13T20:42:00.007+05:30

Hello there, Good evening and welcome to another edition of The Very Late Show with me, Brooks McDoggie and tonight we kick off with a special guest, a man(?) who is responsible for having incited a mild furore all around the world with his controversial air sculptures.

Though Farook Imafarce has been creating art ever since he was a child with decorative garments made out of papaya peels, he was a late bloomer when it came to sculpting. In fact, he did not start sculpting until he was 87 years old, after a trip to a local animal shelter in Cairo (he was mistaken for an escaped overgrown koala bear) ignited a new passion. He’s 88 now.

Upon his return home to Aleppo, Syria, he discovered air, till up to that point in his life he’d never knew or heard of what air was("And I breathe for the first time in my life at 87!" the maestro has said upon this great revelation), He later realized Aleppo was blessed with air(lots of it) therefore, providing ample raw material for his new-found passion. His inspiration, however, would come from having spent over 40 years of studying, experimenting with and selling powerful homemade toilet cleaners.

HOST: Welcome to the show Farook. You are a sculptor, and your medium is… marble? Wood? Bronze? Pillows?

FAROOK: …It’s air.

HOST: Why… air?

FAROOK: Well, it’s where I’m from… Aleppo. There’s absolutely nothing to do in Aleppo or all of Syria unless if you’re a tree who are the most productive and the only things who have got stuff to do in Syria. The only significant thing we have is air.

and poor human rights.

HOST: What about Bashar al-Assad?

FAROOK: This just in… he’s crap and hence, has no importance to anyone, unless if you are a fly who are also the only productive things and also the busiest in Syria because flies happen to like crap and there’s a lot of crap over there.

The maestro at work, doing a live piece with live models.

HOST: Your critics say you are a phony, but are also widely considered to be the world’s greatest air sculptor. How do you feel about that?

FAROOK: Now, now, people just pass it as air, but I’d like to assert that, there’s more to my art than just air(although it is air) Its not to be taken lightly, especially since Syrian air is so heavy; always filled with TNT, Napalm, Bashar al-Assad’s ego and what not!

HOST: I imagine it to be a rather difficult medium to work with...

FAROOK: Oh it is! There's always a great risk of you inhaling your own work! (Laughs)

The following pictures of my works clearly illustrates how much of an effort I put in them…

"18 Lebanese nymphs drowning in a jar of Papaya jam"

One of Farook's most famous works.

Syrian admirers of the maestro have noted the work for its exceptional beauty, the exquisite details and its graceful form, while his Lebanese critics greatly protested for portraying the Lebanese women less manly.

HOST: I've noticed that Papayas are a recurring theme in your works...

FAROOK: Papayas are a very important part of Syrian life, infact even Papayas also are amongst the only productive few things in Syria and have got things to do.

"My dear Abdula"

This simple yet powerful work named after his neighbour's goat has been acclaimed by many regional leaders and the public majority for it's explicitly erotic portrayal of a goat. Western critics have criticized it for the subject being a "boy goat". According to rumours, the work is inspired by and based upon the maestro's own true unreciprocated love for his neigbhour's goat.

The goat was unavailable to comment.

HOST: You have done many works for celebrities?

FAROOK: Yes, yes, I did a portrait of Stevie Wonder . Stevie was particularly delighted with the astounding likeliness of the statue. One for ~~Cat Stevens~~ Yusuf Islam, ~~Cat~~ Yusuf loved it too. I also did one for William Shatner, but he was greatly displeased with the work as he felt that I didn’t do justice or capture the beauty of his jawline correctly…
I would like to go on record and make it clear that I rather did… nail… the jawline flawlessly… regardless of what Mr. Shatner thinks. As the following picture which I brought along to share will clearly reveal…

(Picture of Mr.Shatner for reference included)

As you can see here, I think I rather… nailed… the jawline perfectly regardless of what Mr. Shatner thinks.

HOST: Oh my god! Fascinating! William Shatner has a jawline?
Or a Hairline

HOST: We’ll be back after these few messages so stay tuned in…

Introducing…

HOST: Welcome back, let’s continue…
What’s the one medium that you won’t ever work with?

FAROOK: Wind.

...

And also cucumbers.

HOST: And with that it’s time to end tonight’s show and I’d like to thank you Farook for sharing with us your art(?) and we wish you all the best for your future ventures…

FAROOK: Thank you Brooks.

HOST: That's it for tonight folks, I'm your host Brooks McDoggie, see you guys later, Goodnight!

---

The artist is currently working on a 50 ft tall statue commissioned by the BMC to be placed ~~over~~ in front of the V.T in Bombay as a symbol of the civic organization’s contribution towards the city’s municipal progress.

The maestro working on his current project.

The monumental statue once complete will symbolize the BMC’s virtues of honest and dependable service to the public and its contribution towards the city’s world class infrastructure.

An artistic representation of the statue when complete.

Record Of The Week

2010-12-10T13:32:00.006+05:30

Artist: Martha Argerich

Title: Maurice Ravel

Label: Deutsche Grammophon

Country: Germany

Date: 1975

Current Value: It's Martha Argerich!!!!

“An artistic interpretation of your dad’s cum face by our very own St. Thomas’ Cathedral’s Father Wilford D’mello… “

Thank you Padre.

Holókauston District

2010-09-24T00:57:00.004+05:30

So here's Synthetic Lying Machine's new album: 'Holókauston District'.

Recorded in my bedroom in Bombay with 6 goblins and a shiny sea muffin.

Written in various parking lots in the suburbs with rice lights and a box of matches for food, an invitation for myself to get out of bed again in spite of the current culture.

Syd sings one in the left speaker, I think.
Danni smokes a cigarette 21 miles away in the right.

Hope you like it.

Holókauston District.

Download the audio/listen to it here.

Download the complete album artworks here:

Paninometti: 10 Years Of

2010-08-08T00:00:00.515+05:30

Calm down Pablo...

NO.

...Peter Andre is not releasing a new album!

(whew!)

NO.

...they are not allowing Ben Affleck back into civilization
after "Daredevil"!

(whew!)

NO!! NO!!!

WRONG AGAIN YOU TWERP!!!

...Brazil is NOT the capital of Sweden!!

(...I think...)

It's only that...

...PANINOMETTI IS 10, 4 YEARS OLD!!!!!

......

err... Let's move on...

Pablo here loves Paninometti. You'd think Pablo here just witnessed

something unimaginably terrifying, ghastly, something utterly repulsive,

but NO! This is a face of a person hopelessly in love.

A love so strong that it's left Pablo here speechless.

I'm not making this up.

Pablo here loves Paninometti. Look into these eyes.
Such warmth, such fondness. These are obviously the eyes of someone
who is passionately in love and love, love and love only!

Over the years, with its critical observations, thought-provoking essays on the human condition, Paninometti naturally has etched a deep impact and influence on the social consensus, evoking a cultural zeitgeist,
of such significance not experienced since the Macarena.

Here’s what people have to say about Paninometti:

....

ANYBODY?!

“I should have left you in the gutter where I found you!”

-The author’s mother after reading Paninometti.

"Shut up mother! Why do you always have to embarrass me in public?!
Gosh! I hate you! Why won't you hug me?! Please hold me... its so cold...
...WAAAAAAHHH!!!"
-The author's err... look-alike... to the real author's mother.

"Go away GUTTERBOY!"
-The real author's mother to the real author's look-alike
who is not the real author. No.No.No.

“…perfectly reflecting the times in which we thrive in, provides a snapshot of our world and the cultural evolution at a critical juncture. ~~Paninometti fails to do so in every possible way… Massively!~~”

- Paris Hilton (influential carpentry critic)

~~Reading~~ this ~~makes~~ me ~~want~~ to sharply ~~beat~~ ~~myself~~ up ~~with~~ rocks!

- A casual reader

"GREAT ~~God!~~ ~~Oranges are~~ SO AWESOME!! The best... I just loveitt!!"

- A very enthusiastic Steve Jobs on his favourite ~~fruit~~ Paninometti.

"I'll be back... to Paninometti."

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Frankly my dear, I ~~don’t~~ give a damn!”

- Rhett Butler

On the occasion of this important occasion occasion, the worldwide media flocked to rural Louisiana and asked a tree how it felt about this important occasion occasion occasion.

Paninometti Timeline:

1992: The author’s classmate complains “Duuuuuude, your blog Paninometti sucks!”
2007: Paninometti created.
2001: In the small town of Húsavíkurbær on the peninsula Tjörnes near the agricultural area Reykjahverfi in north east Iceland, little Guðrún Sigurðardóttir (not related to Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir) sneezes for the first time.
2003: That classmate unfortunately dies.The author celebrates by doing a victory dance in front of the grieving parents and relatives of the deceased during the funeral.
2003: That was the last time the author was welcomed in their home.
2003: Jesus ate a Bean Burrito on September 4th.
2007: The blog suffers a miscarriage.
2007: The blog later confesses to chain smoking while being pregnant.
2002:

2009: The blog goes Super Saiyan 4!
2006: Oprah Winfrey likes it up her arse since 2006.
2007: The blog reinvents the wheel.
2007: Mick Jagger dies.
2009: The blog confesses to possessing weapons of mass destruction.
2009: The author amid great media frenzy confesses to using baby powder as a tool of manipulation.
1,600,000 BCE – 300,000 BCE: The blog discovers fire.
2009: The blog cares about Tajikistan.
2008: Lehman Brothers executives along with several other firms reveal having read Paninometti regularly. Market pundits believe the blog was the main reason for the global market crash.
2008: The blog happily offers to castrate (or to burn alive) all the members of MNS and the likes of them.
2010: The blog still doesn’t give a damn about the whole “Marathi-only in Bombay” debacle. And will never. Ever.
2010: Yes, its always going to be Bombay for the blog.
2010: The blog thinks the new series of Doctor Who is absolutely brilliant!
2004: The blog briefly took up vocal duties and fronted Van Halen after Sammy Hagar’s departure.
2005:
2006: The author marries Monica Roccaforte. They divorce a year later. Roccaforte since, has frequently been sighted canoodling in public with the blog but both of them have denied any romantic allegations and insist on being just “good friends”. R-i-i-ight.
2010: The blog confessed to tricking children into believing that they can fly. 8 have tried. All of them failed.
2009: The blog fires the author citing creative differences but they quickly make up thanks to their mutual respect and fondness for sandwiches.
2009: The blog successfully recreates the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan with its dinner at a family dinner party, it was universally panned.
2009: The blog successfully builds a Flux Capacitor and travels back into time to the year 2000 and shoots 50 cent 9 times yet failing to kill him (DARN!) dejected, it later travels to 1989 and (just for fun) kicks a young Shahrukh Khan’s arse SO hard, he still stutters to this day while talking and later unsuccessfully attempts to persuade a pregnant Mrs. Hitler to abort.
2010: The blog is currently planning on traveling back to the year 1982 when Mr.Abhishek Bachchan was in the 4th grade and make a complete fool out of him in front of the whole school, so he develops a massive low self-esteem issue, thus barring him from never-EVER considering performing in front of an audience (HA! He has an audience?! HA!). You’re welcome.
2010: The blog gives a big “FUCK YOU” to the MSEB.
2010: "FUCK YOU MSEB!"
2010:
2010:
2010: The blog wants to buy an Ukulele.
2010:
2010: Yawn
2010: The blog is tired now. Sleep.

Samurai inks

2010-06-13T16:21:00.004+05:30

A day's work & a now defunct "Kurosawaesque" project.

Inking still remains the most pleasurable part.

Feudal Japan, always a delight.

Almost-Art Talk

2010-06-11T05:57:00.020+05:30

This post was deleted by the author as he finds a soapbar way more interesting than talking about his art(?).

So here's a nice soapbar:

Fascinating.

Rory The Singing Plywood

2010-06-05T05:39:00.009+05:30

Whilst all the woodsheets was sleepy
He waits, He waits and then,
Softly, softly, softly,
Creeps a velvety jingle
Through the warehouse basement
Deep within the mute night
Alone he cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the shady Vale profound
Is overflowing with this beautiful sound
It is, Rory the singing plywood.

For the only joy Rory knew
Was singing and dancing,
For all this wooden Björk knew
Was expressing himself
In the keys of E, C, G and A#m.
Deep between the layers of
His glued thin veneers of softwood
Lied a secret passion for
Divine melodies and harmonies,
Graceful movements of rhythmical merry,
And yes, Elton John and Kate Perry.

Whilst all the other woodsheets
Dreamt of a bright future
In highly polished elegant furniture,
a chair, a couch, a Victorian dinner table
With engravings and moldings so keen,
Rory dreamt of performing for the Royal Variety Show
For the Queen at her 90th,
For the cinema,
For the stage.

Then one fateful day,
The gods of the warehouse vale
With all their wealth and praise,
Bought into the woodsheet's vale
An army of metally chainsaws
As their new roomies.

On that same summery night
Rory waits, waits, waits as always
And when the solitary of the night,
Seems thick and just perfect
He fills up the void with
All the glorious voices of the universe,
Otherwise known as "The White Album"

And then
In a moment so everlasting,
Rang through the woodsheet's vale
A voice so thrilling
He'd never heard
A voice of the angels
A voice of the saints
Joining Rory's lonely glory,
It was, Ashley the singing chainsaw
Who also nourished like him
A hidden passion for melody

Night after night
Rory and Ashley welcomed
The nights with their duet of
Sombre notes in angelic unison,
To the weary warehouse lots
Bonding deeper within
The seas of music
As a single piece of flesh
Metal, wood and various plastic components
Were now, one.

Then on one fine musical evening
Amongst a gathering of few
Amongst family and friends,
Ashley the singing chainsaw
Hit a note so sharp,
Rory the plywood was cut into half!

The End.

Rory's family tree.

His parents, uncle, aunt, bothers, sisters and cousins.

Record Of The Week

2010-04-25T16:02:00.046+05:30

Johann Strauss: Walzer
Performed by the Boston Symphony Chamber Players
Label: Deutsche Grammophon
Country: Germany
Date: 1979
Current value: US$90 -150

"A word from prominent French military figure Guillaume Brune..."

People you fancy but shouldn't (part1)

2010-04-24T14:57:00.007+05:30

Vanessa Bloome from Bee Movie.

You know you would.
Well, I would. Thrice.

The Haunted Wardrobe Cupboard

2010-04-13T04:13:00.019+05:30

I don’t believe in ghosts or any relative concepts like reincarnation, or anything that even faintly advocates the idea of life after death. (However having said that, I do believe in the Rainbow-Coloured Elephant Man) It’s a rather cowardly and self-justified perspective produced by man to believe that one’s life does not end at one’s physical demise. A self-imposed natural resistive response towards the instinctive, inherent and eternal fear of death. All things die. All living things fear death such is the burden of life. It blatantly proposes that life itself doesn’t ever stop, end, that one actually passes onto a place of eternal bliss, peace, and what not. An understandably very human, positive, the prospect of something after death is, evidently desperate in search of satisfying hope. Hence, I find most horror/ghost stories/films or any anything that says there's anything after death ultimately an optimistic story. It is. Infact, I won’t at all be surprised to find majorly the people who claim to see “ghosts” also see the “glass half full”!

But an unexpectedly “inexpensive” purchase from the local flea market has clearly presented a massive contradiction to my view. I am absolutely convinced that my newly purchased wardrobe cupboard is haunted! The series of eerie occurrences involving the cupboard over the past few days has led me to consider otherwise- like for instance, wardrobe cupboards aren’t supposed to secrete slimy rancid glowing fluids (like women) right? Or EAT PEOPLE? Unless you buy your furniture from Big Bazaar…

...I think NOT!

"50% flat off on this ~~self-stabbing~~ Bean Bag! Take it or leave it!"
The seller, he said, the cupboard goes along well with the colour of my pants that I was wearing. *blush*

I was excited like a little child on Christmas morning, having acquired an unbelievably brilliant bargain on a rare fine looking cupboard and all I needed now was to buy some clothes (as I didn’t have any) but I didn’t, because that would have cost extra as I was planning on buying a house for the cupboard and myself to stay in first and move out of my roadside cardboard home.

Isn’t she a beauty? *tears*

I was indeed happy; at least, I was at first. But my delight and excitement was very short-lived as I immediately found out and realized over the following weeks that I may have initially overlooked certain questionable aspects of this investment and received more than what I originally bargained for! I paid for a nice antique wardrobe cupboard, DEFINITELY NOT a psychotic antique wardrobe cupboard monster that eats people/pets/household objects/grandma and tries to dissolve you by vomiting acid on you during the night while you are asleep.

Following is the record of all the eerie occurrences and the horrifying experiences that I’ve endured over the weeks since I bought the cupboard and compiled:

Sure signs your wardrobe cupboard is haunted:

When one finds skeletons in one’s closet… LITERALLY! (one of them later turned out to be Uncle Gilford)

When your own reflection tries to chew your arm off.

When the cupboard starts dry humping guests.

When the mirror on the cupboard turns out to be a portal to the netherworld.

When your clothes develop a very embarrassing habit of mysteriously transforming into wearables of the opposite sex.

Your new found appreciation for “alternative fashion”.

When your favourite shirt tries to kill you.

When once missing objects start mysteriously reappearing within your pockets like Grandma’s long lost tongue, Uncle Gilford’s right ear, somebody’s nipple, grandpa, etc;

Most recent picture of me. This is what I was turning into and that was it! I’ve had enough!

My newly purchased set of clothing hangers lay untouched on my coffee table, as I could not use them since the cupboard once tried to strangle me with those. All I could do now is cry.

So if anybody wants to buy a nice looking ~~people-eating~~ wardrobe cupboard then do contact me right now! PLEASE! The first person who calls, wi

The author appears to have died. Luckily, his sole companion his parrot picked this article up along with some remaining pieces of his nose(?)

SOMETHING STINKS IN YOUR ROOM JEFFREY!(Part 1)

2010-04-13T02:20:00.002+05:30

TOO MUCH AWESOMENESS!

2010-04-10T03:19:00.005+05:30

* Censored for your safety

As the above person would have attested, sadly, he cannot now. Well… he’s dead. The unfortunate bloke became a victim of the unspeakably underestimated, but vastly devastating effects of too much awesomeness, which happens to be vastly devastating, but unspeakably underestimated which consequently, occurs to be a vastly underestimated, but an unspeakably devastating cause of death.

More people die of involuntary exposure to too much awesomeness than by getting hit by an airborne Green Day album traveling at 150km/h thrown out in a fit of rage by disgusted customers /or death due to the social humiliation of owning the new Coldplay album(any) /or by actually listening to it /~~or certainly while reading this textual disaster~~. Which statistically is quite high and therefore, immensely alarming.

So many questions are bound to arise like, what exactly is too much awesomeness? What is it? Who is it? What exactly does it looks like? How can one understand it? What is Rosemary’s baby up to these days? Mother Superior Jumped the Gun? Now, you don’t seriously expect me to know the answers to these very ~~stupid~~ important questions now, do you?

Well, I do don’t. Nobody does. Too much awesomeness is beyond human comprehension. Bob knew, but he couldn’t take it. However, since you want to know, you just have to, HAVE to know…

No no no! That’s too much shite!

Gosh! No NO! That’s not it either!

Now kids you most certainly won't find it hiding under your feets!

Awww shucks!

Darn! Not again!

GODDAMN IT!!

Dr.Winston O' Sulk: “What are you doing here? This article talks only of things that are unbearably awesome!”

Abhishek Bachchan: “Oh dear! Then I am a pointless paradox?! Therefore, I cease to exist!”

NOOO!!!”

*puff*

According to visually impaired Mr.Edward Noeyez (pictured left with his son), too much awesomeness looks like this.

Since the governments of these nice people were oh-so incredibly awesome, these nice people just couldn’t handle those superior levels of awesomeness.

HOW MUCH CAN ONE MAN TAKE? Ahhhh!!!

Well statistically speaking, about 5.79666/50th of the total awesomeness well that’s just about it, beyond that… it’d be a remarkable display of utter futility! Ahhhh!!!

Classic example of a man(?) who couldn’t take it once in contact/near too much awesomeness. Ahhhh!!!

*Women: approximately 2.30478441% of the 5.79666/50th out of the total awesomeness, the universally verified safest amount that an average healthy man can take. Ahhhh!!!

*Feminists: Divide the female amount with the square root of 54, then multiply with 18, add 0.1995, divide it with the cube root of 3.14159265358979323846, subtract 7.0112005, finally multiply with 0 to get the final value. Ahhhh!!!

Here are some graphs depicting something very important, I think ( ... ) Yes, yes, very important.

*Note: The author assures you that these extremely important scientific breakthroughs were done by real scientists! True.
*(Graphs were done by my neighbour)

Some scientists, seen here doing something important. The one in the right is prettier.

Dr. Timmy Bluecock head of this significant scientific study (part-time human experimental drug tester) whose scholarly work in the fields of too much awesomeness gained widespread notoriety ever since the release of Superman 4. Sadly, we lost him last month due to an unfortunate grizzly incident involving 27 dead pigeons, parts of a lizard penis, many not-so-pleasant pictures of Clint Howard's Hawaii vacation and an industrial-strength power-drill (illegally acquired).

Based on years of meticulous research and in accordance with the resulting zettabytes of data and studies and despite 19 (real)scientists losing their lives and leaving other 8 violently crippled, Dr. Timmy Bluecock and his team(all real scientists!) have developed a factual scientific rendition of what too much awesomeness looks like:

Now you seriously didn't expect me to reveal such extremely dangerous information to the public now did you? Too much knowledge will destroy you, which in this case, it will... literally!

More pictures of our scientists (working hard to decode the "awesomeness" in too much awesomeness)

Ok.

Vacation pictures of our scientists.

Wait a minute...

~~Stop There!~~

No… No MORE! STOP!

ATTENTION:

Due to the potentially hazardous nature of the content of this article, and since the article itself couldn’t take itself anymore, the author sincerely apologies for abruptly ending it due to obvious growing safety concerns.

Dedicated to Bob who just couldn't take it.

Nothing.

2010-04-07T17:14:00.001+05:30

He fell funny, but everything is OK.

The End of Time.

2010-01-08T15:11:00.000+05:30

The last episode with the Tenth Doctor aired recently...

I came.

Buckets.

I love David Tennant.
He was the best Doctor. Period.
I'm really going to miss him. Much love.

I've found the meaning of life!

2009-11-27T21:00:00.000+05:30

I've found the meaning of life!
No. I don't want to talk about it.

Sinful Sunday Smiles 2

2009-11-02T03:39:00.000+05:30

Just a watch-along for the song "Sinful Sunday Smiles 2" from Sinful Sunday Smiles.

You can download/listen to it here.

Joyfully Juicy Mr. Humbert Doodleby

2009-11-01T00:44:00.000+05:30

Joyfully Juicy Mr. Humbert Doodleby,

Hopping and skipping all the way to the mart,

Bought a barrelful of soil in his missus' cart,

Plant, plant, plant with his paws,

Plant fetuses in the garden,

In the fields, in the woods and in the lawn.

Hurry, hurry, hurry,

Stalking the nearing dawn!

Into the house it follows,

Hidden beneath all those dingy winter clothes.

Fishy fishy aroma! Fishy fishy aroma!

Cries the missus sour!

Ma sweet wee Jesus!

Ain't thwaa bad? She blooming knows!

Sweaty, sweaty, sweaty, shivery and cold,

Bang, bang, bang! The hot metal darts blow,

Crashing on the rug see how the missus folds!

Joyfully Juicy Mr. Humbert Doodleby,

Hopping and skipping all the way to the mart once more!

Nothing.

2009-10-02T22:19:00.000+05:30

EVERYTHING IS OK!

2009-09-28T04:22:00.001+05:30

Before moving any further, make sure that everything is OK. Not fine or sensational, but OK. If you're not OK then, it's strongly advised that you return back later only after you're OK.

EVERYTHING IS OK.

A perfectly OK day for a picnic isn't it children?

Take a look around you. Isn't everything OK? No? Well pull out that baseball bat out of your ass right now then! OK? So NOW everything is OK? OK. Who says the world's at it's end? Global Warming? Economic crashdown? Severe Inflation? Terrorism? Your girlfriend/boyfriend left you for a chimp? Your CHIMP left you for a dozen of bananas? You probably just realised that impersonating and practising singing Barry Manilow's entire back catalogue 18 hours a day for the past 4 years still won't get the ladies/lads to fancy you? Untimely death of your grandmother by falling tubas from the skies? You're feeling exceedingly dejected and depressed? There seems to be no end to this list of eternal let downs of living in the modern world? WRONG.

EVERYTHING IS OK.

So coolness is a virtue for you? You think your oh-so-cool indifference is what sets you apart from.. well the other 6 billion "cool" people that exist on this planet? Indifference is THE disposition to live by, isn't it? Why would you care for anything that would ever cause you to question the glorious nobleness of the noble, glorious establishment? WHY? Why would you question the glorious nobleness of the noble, glorious establishment when everything is just so fucking OK ? The media is lying. Ice caps melting? Meh. We've got refrigerators! HA! Just refilling the ice trays will do the trick! Fools!

Everything is OK here in India.Your life right now is OK. The government appreciates your input, none of which you will ever give because the government is already OK. How OK is OK? Pretty OK! Just look at your life... your house is in a racially integrated but well-off neighborhood because racial relations are so OK here in India.

You know where else everything is OK? Here's a hint: It's not Syria, Rwanda, or China! Well, it is OK in those places... in fact, those places are actually extra-OK! Extra-extra-OK!

At any point, one place where everything was OK is Auschwitz or any other Nazi camp.

Joyful Jews at Auschwitz where everything was OK.

Another place where everything is OK is the Middle East, especially in Iraq and Iran. Why is it so goddamn OK there you ask? Well everyone agrees on with everything, thus getting along well, there are no lunatics there with the title of dictator and the capabilities to produce a nuclear bomb, of course!

Iraq where everything is OK.

EVERYWHERE... IT IS OK.

African Girl: Will be raped or starve to death from hunger or famine (or everything all at the same time).

American Girl: Will not be raped or starve to death from hunger or famine but will grow up to be an ignorant avid Britney Spears/Miley Cyrus fan. Ouch!

Tajikistani Girl: Nothing.

Nobody cares about Tajikistan.

"Hairy Monster": A Bosnian Muslim Child Remembers His Mother’s Rape (1993). But everything is OK now.

Everything is OK. It has been OK for quite a while now. Well at least its been ALRIGHT!

As John Lennon pointed out in "Revolution 1" in the White Album in 1968 much to the apt ridicule of the other Beatles:

John Lennon: "Don't you know it's gonna be alright?
Alright Alright!"

Paul McCartney

& George Harrison: "Woooooop Shoopbee Doo Wop!"

Ringo Starr: "I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS!"

Well you still think it's not OK? Well fear not because...

EVERYTHING WILL ALWAYS BE OK!

Everything will be OK, if he just holds on...

Lars Ulrich hangs himself during one of the concerts apparently after listening to his own band's music while all the ex-members of Metallica present in the audience look on in shock.(Pictured: Bambi, Mario, Winnie the Pooh, Cliff Burton, Abu, Jason Newsted)... but everything is OK now.

The band's spokesperson: the "101st Dalmation" reported the late Ulrich will be replaced by the more talented Taj Mahal.

Metallica during one of their most recent concerts with new drummer and permanent member the Taj Mahal. Critiques and fans alike have noted the Taj's desire to include Emo and Polka into their music much to James Hetfield's dismay. But now everything is OK.

In Dead or Alive 2- Everything is KO.

Everything was OK here 0.563 second ago.

zomg!zomg!zomg! That mentally challenged kid just appeared out of the toilet and transformed into Super Saiyan 2! NOW everything is going to be OK!

Maybe he IS right...

So always remember that everything is OK. Everything is OK. Everything has always been OK, even OK has always been OK. Everything is OK now, and everything always will be OK. Don't question anyone's authority. Don't EVER question anyone's authority. Our leaders are doing a great job. Don't question their authority. Express your individuality by getting a tattoo, listen to hip music,etc; just like everybody else. So just return back to your television sets and just curl up into the fetal position and calmly rock yourself back and forth, back and forth, and say it to yourself over and over and over again:

Everything-Is-OK.

Everything-is-OK.

Spaceyhead/Cosmic Joke No.9 (The Faulty Moonlight Tragedy) EP

2009-09-20T01:18:00.003+05:30

"Spaceyhead/Cosmic Joke No.9 (The Faulty Moonlight Tragedy)"

B-Sides of "Sinful Sunday Smiles" ; is up for free downloads/listens here.

Listing:

1. Ann, Alpha Bait

2. La Fabuleux Pluie (Piano piece [Op. 3] No. 1)
3. Stone Crows (For Piano & Orchestra [Op.3] No. 1)
4. China Dope

5. Foul Altarboy

6. Approved Seduction

You Like It, It Likes You

2009-09-14T05:42:00.000+05:30

The Synthetic Lying Machine in a carbonated lemon-flavoured beverage commercial advertisement.

.....brrrch!

2009-08-14T20:36:00.000+05:30

18 more for Suu kyi and this great unkind world's just turned a little more unkinder.

SINFUL SUNDAY SMILES

2009-07-27T20:32:00.000+05:30

Everybody's making a lot of noise these days, so here's some more:

"Sinful Sunday Smiles"
This is my first err... "album"
and I'm proud of it, particularly of the part that goes "ta nana nan-na...."
err... You listen, its up for free downloads/listens here.

Listing:
1. Primal Speech Therapy
2. Sinful Sunday Smiles 1
3. In The Wet Garden Of KatzenJammer
4. Pharmaphilia
5. Beyond This Line
6. Idiot Box
7. Jenna's Injection (Don't Go Home)
8. Spaceyhead
9. Sinful Sunday Smiles 2
10. Cosmic Joke No.9 (The Faulty Moonlight Tragedy)

"Synthetic Lying Machine" is a project with just me by myself attempting to create some "noise".
But since I'm currently jobless, I'm open for collaborations be it in music or in art, writing, or even a much needed bank heist.

STOP! EASE FOR A WHILE...

2009-05-01T02:07:00.000+05:30

Enjoy this 'bread orgy' while I'm away and get back to not-updating this blog and do what I do best- nothing.

INTERVIEW: CELINE DION

2008-11-26T13:46:00.001+05:30

Celine Dion in her infamous "God made me do it" pose during the interview.

Recently I had a chance to sit down(only me, didn't allow her to) and talk with Celine Dion. Here's how the interview went:

Dion: Should I take my top off before we start?

Me: Err... sure?
[She takes it off and after I profusely puke for 10 whole minutes, regain my eye-sight and beg her to put it back on and never to do that again for the sake of mankind, we continue]

Me: Firstly, I'd like to say thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me. I can't imagine how hard and hectic it must be, being a world-class whore.

Dion: Awww no problem. [Laughs]

Me: Why are you laughing bitch? [I proceed to give her a kick on the face]

Dion: [Laughs]

Me: Nobody actually likes the shit that you do, right?

Dion: Well I've won many awards, sold over 2 records and my clients include Pope Benedict XVI, Gary Coleman, Gandhi, Napoleon Bonaparte, etc. I'm quite a whore you know. [Laughs]

Me: [yawn] Yes I do know. [Gives her a kick in the crotch]

Dion: Oh I forgot, Abhishek Bachchan, the cast of Titanic, the whole of Canada too.

Me: Yeah, yeah, anyway. You are quite famous for your frequent practice of masturbation during bloody menstrual periods, Is this true?

Dion: Yes. Well you know me, I'm a whore and a Canadian.

Me: Yes. Rumour has it, that your "music" is like two brick walls dry humping each other, how do you manage to be such a shit filled bitch of biblical proportions? Please don't share if it's too personal.

Dion: Well I have sex with pigs and smear my face in donkey excreta every morning and then continue having sex with pigs again all day long. I don't know why people like and buy my "music". Maybe one day they'll pull out their heads out of their asses( But it's way better than rap and Hip Hop "music"). Meanwhile, I'll make money and continue to numb their brains with my personality and my "music" as much as I can and eventually take over the world.

Me: Man, you sure are a shit-filled whore.

Dion: Yep, well that's a masterpiece of an understatement, really.

Me: Have you ever tried listening to your own "music"?

Dion: [Laughs] Are you kidding me? I may be a whore, but not that stupid, oh wait maybe I am.[Laughs]

Me: Yes. You are a stupid whore. Well that covers it, but before you go, I'd like to thank you once again for taking the time out and good luck with your life- no, wait, choke and die. I hope you choke on your own shit and die.

Dion: Hey, really its no problem.

[I proceed to give her one last hard kick on the face]

Dion: Why did you do that?

Me: I hate you.

Dion: [Laughs]

Dion: [Laughs]

A TRIBUTE TO A GREAT LEGEND

2008-11-06T04:49:00.000+05:30

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS UNBEARABLE LEVELS OF AWESOMENESS

I write this, with a humongous lump in my throat and try not to break down but in stark contrast, also in a state of extreme bliss. Here at Paninometti, we appreciate awesomeness and hence, a tribute to something really awesome. This is the first and possibly the only tribute you'll ever see here, because no one else can live up to this man(perhaps). One of my greatest hero.
This is my tribute to the great AYRTON SENNA:

Nostalgia can kill you man. And it's sneaky and mean. It starts out by broadcasting a memory where everything is as warm and fuzzy as a puppy licking your face and then it all turns bad when you realize you're rewinding through a joyous image that has been lost forever. I drift back to 1993, when an awestruck six-year old was absolutely devouring the glorious images flickering inside my family's TV of the Godly presence of the great Ayrton Senna driving his legendary McLaren Honda in a very wet and now legendary race at Donington. An unparalleled drive that would be named as the decade's best. I was hooked. Then and there, and still fucking am.

If you're asking yourself "who the hell is Ayrton Senna," you'd better step back and re-evaluate your life right now or just kill yourselves in a very slow and gruesome way. If not, then let me. Imagine everything awesome packaged into one certain Brazilian racer, an ultimate personification of pure awesomeness that's what Ayrton Senna was. He is also the only person who can and has on many occasions kicked Chuck Norris' ass.

Senna is who I believe to be my real biological father. Don't believe me? Check this out:

I know, the similarities are uncanny!

Then came 1994, still new to the world of Formula 1 and having witnessed and experienced Ayrton's unparalleled awesome genius and skill on the track, becoming a hardcore fan and falling in love with his intense personality just like the millions all over the world within those 5-6 months was natural and inevitable. I wanted more of him and knew right away that this is staying for life with me, and then came May 1st of that year -the Imola Grand Prix, after Lap seven and the fourteen years that follows to this day, everything has been a blur. Imagine losing a hero, a hope, an idol, someone you respect, admire, adore, right in front of you on live television, the wait, everyone will remember the fucking wait, he just sat there motionless for several slow passing minutes. Very distressing and what was to follow later that day was even more. Still is. ALWAYS will be.

The purpose of this tribute is not to yet again like it's been done over and over again like an annoying tape loop(I could, I want to, but choose not to), in the last 14 years come up with new theories and try to solve and find the "real" reason behind Ayrton's death, BUT is to tell and remind you all imbecile, ignorant shitheads, that giants DID walked on this earth. That there was a God among us. Literally. He was Ayrton Senna.

Senna kicking everybody's ass at Monaco, just like God intended.

Senna about to kick Schumacher's ass, just like He intended.

Ayrton was always a man of such extraordinary talent and character that his legacy lives on, not only in the memories of those who witnessed his talent on the track, but as an example to young people around the world, of dedication, compassion and integrity, and I do find it really unfair and get exceptionally exasperated when all these pseudo shitheads go on, comparing all this new breed of pussies in Formula 1 today like Hamilton, etc; to him. No comparisons. Ever.

It's very hard to describe this feeling, there are not enough words to build a sentence that can say what kind of man Ayrton Senna da Silva was. I strongly believe the video below will give you some idea of what an awesome person he was:

Ayrton Senna IS and will always remain the greatest man who ever raced. The BEST Formula 1 driver. Nobody comes close. Nobody will. Everything else is shit.

You are well missed & loved Ayrton.
Paninometti is dedicated to you.

People still do believe that since Senna doesn't race anymore, it ain't Sunday anymore.

I DO HAVE FRIENDS!

2008-11-02T11:56:00.002+05:30

Over the years, many people(usually referred to as jerks, sewer sludge,etc.) have accused me of being many things like - a loser or a very feeble person, person who prefers & enjoys same gender sexual gratification, several references to animal excreta, etc. But most importantly of not having any active, healthy social life and consequently, leading to a very content life(for me) but with NO friends. How NOT true.

Contrary to popular belief, I DO HAVE FRIENDS.

Like you all mere mortals, I too sometimes enjoy(yeah right!) participating in pretentious blabber and activities and do have great friends. The following content perfectly illustrates this:

My well-liked friends seen here enjoying a nice game of pool.

Standing between the vehicles (was) a very good friend.

Standing between the letterboxes IS a very good friend. (Shortly after this picture was taken he was arrested for exposing himself and shouting anti-Semitic remarks in public)

A very shy friend. I know! He looks just like David Bowie.(standing behind that pink door).

Nobody's here. Dumbass.

Who wants to be a millionaire you ask? My Friend does.

Friends who'd probably sue me if I disclose their identities.

Friends whom I WILL soon reject for listening to all that rap crap.

PLEASE BE MY FRIEND. PLEASE.

A close friend of mine have confessed to sodomizing Bambi right after killing her mother.

These are NOT my friends. (All arrested & awaiting capital punishment for severely boring me)

Note: During the time when this post was in the making the entire cast of the Friends was severely sodomized("Joey" was the worst victim) by the very same close friend of mine who also recently has confessed to sodomizing Bambi along with some other fluffy Disney creatures.

YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!

Good friends. Yes indeed.

As you all can see apparently, I have some great friends. SUCKERS for thinking otherwise.

LOVE IS WHAT YOUR BANDWIDTH IS...

2008-11-01T20:18:00.000+05:30

-------------------------------------------------------------
Music note

You can download/listen to it here.

Approved Seduction:
Selective jam sessions, covers along with some
selective original pieces.
Recorded/performed/produced between Aug-Sep '08.
(Except Track 2: Dec' 07)

Listing:
1. Blow Out
2. Neutral India Rubber I
3. Neutral India Rubber II
4. How Can You Be Sure?
5. Duped Kissing (Foreign Radium Fishes)
6. Sawdust Nostalgia
7. (Wordless) Ballad
8. Reverence (Motion Picture Moment)

-----
Delusions Of Adequacy
Vocals: Dewy Fish
Guitar1: Dewy Fish
Guitar2: Roger Crotchtickles
Bass: "Sunshine" Ravi
Drums: Connie Bigboottie
Synth/Piano: Dewy Fish

----

HE IS A GOOD BOY

2008-11-01T19:38:00.000+05:30

Ladies don't be shy, check this hunk of meat! He's a Capricorn, enjoys nice walks on the beach, devouring fluffy animals (preferably raw), has good positive feedback on his ebay account. (I know, WOW!)

It's hard to tell which part of the whole process is the most exciting, I suppose the part when I'm done with all this and enjoying some quality time with my Gameboy. Oh joy...

IF I WERE A TEACHER...

2008-08-21T00:38:00.000+05:30

Oh how much I NEVER miss Convent Schools.

(Thou shalt click the pictures with thy mouse to enlarge. Amen)

HOW TO SPOT A JACKASS: EXHBHIT A:

2008-08-17T17:34:00.000+05:30

The other night I was sitting in a corner table in an Italian restaurant waiting for my Tortellini of Modena alone while reminiscing about the day's earlier events like time-travelling back to 1998 A.D. and destroying every shred of Aaron Carter's existence from this planet , when a couple entered and took a table near me. Through the course of the meal it was apparent that the couple had employed a dating service and were on a blind date. And then and there it set off my bullshit alarm! The jackass with the woman sky-rocketed way up to 1000% on my Bullshit-O-Meter! This guy was one of the purest and most concentrated essence of bullshit I've been unfortunate enough to have come across over the years. His face just begged to be smashed into a pulp with Coldplay's disturbing new CD . My blood was boiling, Oh wait I forgot, LITERALLY! I was pissed, this pasta I ordered was as cold as a dead pig's testicles and yes the utter yak shit that I have just witnessed. Blood driven for revenge, I skipped dessert, thus affecting the capitalist sector(as consumerist this nation is getting while 2/3 of it still lacks adequate supply of clean water and electricity) and ultimately affecting the economy and hence driving the pimply-bottomed asshole in front of me to pay more taxes! Hey asshole get ready this March for some hefty money loss from your "Cellulite-Removal" fund. By the way I totally boned that poor chick(with the bag on her face of course) in the parking lot and safely locked her away from decent civilization along with P Diddy-Puff Daddy-Puff Mommy uncle, whatever,Rakhi Sawant and Shilpa Shetty. (Excerpts from the date below):

PANINOMETTI: ONE YEAR OF ARTISTIC & LITERARY GENIUS

2008-08-11T23:00:00.000+05:30

The response is all too overwhelming. :-0

TWIN SIS. COM.

2008-07-22T22:12:00.000+05:30

The twins in happier times

Our ladies the Belisha Beacon twins lived a very content life deeply in love only till the 436th heartbeat ... sad, but true.

21 times the twins did the "Macarena" in their sad short lifespan.

BRUCE WILLIS: AMERICA'S FAVOURITE PAEDOPHILE

2008-07-21T04:12:00.000+05:30

Bruce Willis better known as the half cousin of Batman (note: Do not confuse with Bruce Wayne, Bruce Lee, Bruce Willis or Donald Duck) is the guy who invented and also made sleeveless t-shirts cool and a raging but America's favourite kiddy pole polisher and lover. Bruce is also responsible for destroying Jackie Chan's Soviet regime. Children just adore Mr. Candystick(that's what he tells them to call him or his...errr)

Ahh Bruce such a nice person he is no, kid?

Bruce Willis is also known as the most hard working paedophile in the North American Continent particularly in Hollywood, Wisconsin, Shanghai and more recently in North-Western Russia.

Bruce seen here enjoying some "vacation video" of his niece along with his new Chinese friends at home.

Aww that Bruce always on the look out on making new "friends"

Yeah Bruce WHATCHOTALKINBOUT? SUCK IT HARD BOY!!!

GOT BALLS ANYONE?

2008-07-15T10:45:00.000+05:30

Also, crippled people are crippled, they're not differently-abled. If you insist on using tortured language like differently-abled, then you must include all of us. We're all differently-abled. You can do things I can't do; I can do things you can't do. I can pick my nose with my thumb, and I can switch hands while masturbating and gain a stroke. We're all differently-abled. Crippled people are simply crippled. It's a perfectly honorable word. There is no shame in it. It's in the Bible: "Jesus healed the cripples." He didn't engage in rehabilitative strategies for the physically disadvantaged.

--George Carlin

Political Correctness?
Meh.
Willful Ignorance to see face to face with the truth.

EVIL PSEUDO COPS CAN KISS MY ASS!

2008-07-09T16:03:00.001+05:30

I was driving home from a friend's home the other night when suddenly some asshole cop stopped me and demanded the license and registration of the vehicle. And there it was, me showing him the documentations set the dumbass' fuse off! What the hell? You see cops here in Mumbai expect you to break even the pettiest of laws or traffic violations, or even if you are clean, they'd make some bullshit new "law" from the constitution which never really exists just to make a quick buck with bribing.
Evidently this jackass cop was pissed that I had all the legalities necessary expecting to hustle some cash from me. As I stood there and the idiot next to me, pretending to read all the documents and stuff for about 20 minutes! What bullshit? 20 freakin' minutes for 2 pages! PRETENDING to understand a shit about the registration! I knew this donkey dick wouldn't let me off easily for no apparent reason at all! I can see it, Officer Shinde enjoying a calm quiet evening by the fireplace with his beloved sweet smoking pipe and with some classic Sylvia Path or perhaps Tolstoy! Reading. What a pseudo!

Off. Shinde enjoying some literature by the fireplace.

You can't get out of the house after 12 without some asshole drunk "lawman" pissing me off stating some code from the bullshit constitution of our nation stating that they could easily turn you in for err.... returning back home late in the night? All this crap just to extort something as low as mere 20 bucks (If you're eternally broke like me then it's settled for as low as 10). SHAMELESS BASTARDS!

We live in a damn police state. Cops are getting away with too much, too easily these days. The whole constitution is irrelevant. These bastards along with all the politicians have way too much power, getting more bullshit laws passed to take away even more rights from the public. If there isn't anything for them to do( which of course is untrue, there's a lot to do but as if they cared about stuff like some little girl getting raped and killed and the culprit still out. Free.), they shouldn't resort to digging up things to get someone in trouble. They should go around and kick these idiots that I see everyday at the station teasing or sliding their legs on the floor from the fast moving trains just to "impress" or more accurately to scare women. Stupid idiots!

JIHAD: HOLY WAR-HOLY SHIT!

2008-07-01T18:04:00.000+05:30

WARNING: This Blog post or the author will be destroyed by an angry Terrorist/Muslim.

I'm tired of all this JIHAD!! shit flying around everywhere these days. It's gotten to the point where a day won't pass by where you won't come across some dick-less jackass running down the street and blowing his/her shit up into a million pieces just when I'm about to enjoy an episode of The IT Crowd. Even the bimbo I picked up from the bar the other night kept on yelling JIHAD!! whenever I asked what her name was, but still boned her in the end. JIHAD!! INDEED!

JIHAD!! is an Arabic word which literally means P-A-R-T-Y!!! However, in modern usage it refers to a hobby that focuses on blowing up excess people from this planet by strapping bombs to terminally ill patient volunteers or the complete cast of the Titanic. JIHAD!! is also the new slogan for the new advertisement campaign by Prophet Muhammad as a marketing tool to increase the sales of his favourite science fiction novel Koran ( the autobiography of the Backstreet Boys) to gain market share from arch rival Jesus Christ's The Holy Bible of the same genre. Christ Enterprises still hold the market share by 57 % JIHAD!! is also the national sport of Syria.

JIHAD!! is nothing but good ol' bullshitting. It makes my blood boil, if you'd slit my throat right now, hot boiling blood would squirt out and burn your eyes and face out! Being tricked and encouraged into believing that they will spend all of eternity in paradise with twenty virgins eh? Yeah right! Incessant giggling, nagging and strong convictions that a kiss on the cheek will "rock your world".THEY ARE VIRGINS FOR A REASON! GET IT DUMBASS? Give me some dirty, real dirty hot ass fuckers instead and I might join myself!

JIHAD!! usually occurs before the Muslims have met the virgins.(That's where young Jihadi applicants are tricked you see)

Ever wonder why all these JIHAD!! folks blow up innocent people in the name of religion and to "cleanse" the world? Here are some of the reasons:

Islam vs Islam
Islam vs Christianity
Islam vs Buddhism
Islam vs Atheism
Islam vs Mike Tyson
Islam vs The Hulk
Islam vs Batman
Islam vs Zombies
Islam vs Your mom
Islam vs Babies
Islam vs People who write "your" instead of "you're"
Islam vs lol, LOL LOL!
Islam vs Google
Islam vs You
Islam vs Me
Islam vs Dupree
Islam vs Earth
Islam vs Solar System
Islam vs Paris Hilton
Islam vs Windows 95, 98, XP, Vista
Islam vs JIHAD!!
Islam vs <(insert name)>
Islam vs Hinduism
Hindus have approximately 92430057321100583562118 gods. Allah: 1
Heated arguments between Jesus and Muhammad about who is the better prophet.
50 Cent & Sean Kingston
JIHAD!!
Yawn....
You are a mouth-breather!!!.................JIHAD!!!
I wonder what's on T.V right now?
HOLI HAI!!!(Amitabh Bachchan dancing in background)

Aww what a beautiful heavenly place!..................JIHAD!!!

JIHAD!!
ONE MORE TIME....Like you don't care...
JIHAD!!

'Meow' How Cute!..........................JIHAD!!

You still reading this?
GET A LIFE!
Apparently I should!
JIHAD!!
Coldplay

JIHAD these assholes!! WHAT A RIP OFF!

Muslims and Jihadists now want to "JIHAD!!" my ass!

JIHAD!!

JIHAD!!

JIHAD!!!

JIHAD!!!!

"BAISE MOI" IS WHAT SHE SAID TO ME...

2008-06-29T15:18:00.002+05:30

It was a fine sunny morning as I walked the streets of downtown Paris with my best pal Mr. Henry Turkey invisible to everything except me, when I saw her. HER! AUDREY TAUTOU! In her heavenly true physical self. I could smell her sweet stimulating aroma stirred in the hot French air. I stood there dazed, mesmerized by her unparalleled splendor and exquisiteness and when she was just about to disappear back to heaven, she looked at me! AUDREY TAUTOU LOOKED AT ME! I was in her brain! Audrey-chan looked at me and noticed my existence! Her brain received this information and burned me into her memory. I was......I AM a part of Audrey now! The rest of the day is a blur as all I can really remember is some women screaming in French and a lot of pain. All I wanted was to feel her... Regardless of the "eventful" first meeting, my persistence paid off I guess as I'm now doing Miss Amelie Poulain herself!

Enjoying a coffee break during the shoot of Amelie(2001)

"Oooh Baise Moi Sean!"

People don't know what the hell does "Baise moi" means!

JONNY GREENWOOD IS THE CONTROLLER!

2008-06-29T14:53:00.000+05:30

The frenetic axe monster himself Mr. freakishly talented JONNY GREENWOOD!
While Thom's sitting on the pavement thinking about the government, Jonny's down in the basement mixing the chemicals!

People do agree that Jonny Greenwood IS the controller!

HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN

2008-06-29T14:38:00.000+05:30

Bang Bang shoot shoot! That's some Tender Lovin' for you!

THERE WILL BE BLOOD...

2008-04-13T22:27:00.000+05:30

I'm out of here!

...but there will be blood when I'm back...

AYUMI-CHAN WILL BE KAWAI!

2008-04-13T22:15:00.000+05:30

Here is one of Ayumi's simple sketches nothing too fancy from the new manga, will upload some of the other characters later.

THE GREATEST SONG EVER!

2008-04-12T13:19:00.003+05:30

The other night I was at the local rock hangout "headbanging" and when I say headbanging it's more like head butting my 7 months pregnant neighbour in the crotch because she and her husband Snoop Dog, who is a lesbian and was a famous American Civil War Hero General who single-handedly won the battle of Thermopylae in Sparta against the blood thirsty Persians and the Mickey mouse club and also is the uncle of Will.I. am from the shit hole B.E.P, couldn't stop showering each other with stupid terms of endearments. Please. Somebody pass me a barf bag.

Anyway that's besides my point, I wrote myself a song and let me tell you it's a god-cumming awesome song and if you think that it pants, then go to hell! Nobody cares what YOU think!

Intro
(Distorted guitar riff blows in)
I HATE YOU x 73 times
FUCK YOU ALL BITCHES x 442 times

Verse 1
"You're never fully dressed without a smile! Many people have died saying that,
cuz' their rectums were tore with the help of a very big baseball bat!
I'm tired of you all!
you fucking judgmental freaks,
Severed Body parts flying when you all shriek,
BASTARDS, IDIOTS, DICK HOLES,STUPID JERKS!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Pre-Chorus
(continue the "AAAAAAAHHHH" from above)

Chorus
(Pregnant neighbour wailing voice in sheer agony in background. Note:Huge loss of blood from the crotch area)

I hate you all, I hate you all,
I hate myself for not hating you all enough
I'm hungry, I wonder what's on T.V right now
akoakdakogkgbmbmcvcc50650064e[d[f;[sf;[fa[f;afhdh

Verse 2

Pre-chorus
Is that whore still alive?

Chorus
Oh not anymore

Outro
(A face melting solo by this guy):

People think I need help but do like this song.

AIRBAGS ARE FOR AIRHEADS!

2008-04-09T23:59:00.000+05:30

Airbags suck. They are worthless and don't matter at all, they are just like men in porn movies. Airbags don't really do anything, apparently they only work in the Discovery and National Geographic documentaries named "Airbags Save...yes they do!" and shows based on the reproductive organs of Bees and Ants. Sarcasm? Hell YES! Contrary to popular belief, airbags don't save people, Superman does. No airbag is going to save you from your death and stopping you from ending up in hell for your constant bitching and pissing me off, and driving like a dipshit. Infact most of the people on the road these days piss me off. Jerks.

What's even more insane is the concept and now the addition of airbags in newer generation motorbikes. That is just plain ol' bullshitting. They are totally unpractical and unreliable and go off at any time like when you....uh..brake, shift into 2nd gear, honk the horn, blink, breathe and sing Amy Winehouse songs like Mick Jagger while driving which could/will seriously get your ass screwed.

Other than it's incompetence to save people.I reckon that one can make many other ALTERNATIVE USES OF AIRBAGS:

1. You can use them to scare the shit out of your moron neighbour or that goat dick Sean Kingston and ridicule him.

2. I hate Sean Kingston and other dumbasses like him. I hope they all burn to death.

3.

4. Gift your ex-girlfriend or your steady gal as a cheap alternative for breast implants. Throw in some pictures of animal genitalia along with it, she'd fall head over feet knowing that you care so much.

5. I'm too tired to be working on my blog.

6. Trick people into thinking that its Eddie Murphy at social gatherings.

7. Go away.

8.

Here is a closer and revealing look at what actually takes place during an event of a crash and how an airbag "saves" the victim.

Danny(left) and Fedric(right) during their last moments.

Danny: "Oh no! I've lost contact with the mother ship we are heading straight for that cliff which leads to that sea of boiling hot mushroom soup 243 ft and 7 inch below filled with those blood hungry crocodiles who are having a Ryan Seacrest Look-a-like contest!"

Fedric: "God Damn! Frankly Scarlett...I mean Danny I don't give a damn! Quick! Hurry, the airbags! Heads on them, cover your entire face and try to suffocate yourself and die bitch! By the way, Sean is the master of the universe!"

Danny: "I never told you this, but Fedric I've always been in love with you. Please tell me that you love me."

Fedric: .................... ...... ..... .... ... .. .

ASS KICKING GONE VIRTUAL

2008-04-07T01:13:00.000+05:30

Since I don't have anything better to do these summer days(all year actually) and couldn't come up with anything but malicious and acidic stuff, so returned to one of my old but effective methods for wasting time: THE SIMS 2! You all must be well acquainted with the basic premise of the game: Hook up---Score---Continue as many times you like. (Yes it's a "life" simulator)

What you start with is try to create a virtual replica of yourself. Obviously I didn't create a "virtual me" because it's impossible to replicate my awesomeness and handsome, charming self.*ahem* Legend has it that if you ever try doing it, your computer or your neighbour's cat would just explode. But yeah I did create a "fake" me and got me a cute hot girlfriend too. SCORE!

Oh you smell good almighty Sean.

She has some rather uh...cute habits.

Gimme some suga' baby!

Yes we are unemployed.

We have great interesting conversations all the time.

Honey there's something wrong with the television.

People think that I need to get a life or a girlfriend...fast. Well I do concur with the girlfriend part.

JACKASS PROFILE: ABHISHEK BACHCHAN

2008-04-06T16:52:00.003+05:30

This post was deleted by the author as he feels that a soapbar is way more interesting than Mr. Bachchan. So here's a nice soapbar:

Interesting indeed.

I'VE GOT YOUR CENSORSHIP RIGHT HERE!

2008-04-06T13:35:00.000+05:30

For all the hot blooded "men" and even some girls in my uni(sucks) who were busy petting themselves inappropriately in public and wondering what these babes' tits looked like during this year's annual dick show(our exhibition I mean) Take a good look JACKASSES!!

I'm in an art college and nudity gets officially banned! Ironic isn't it? Dickheads!

"Educational you say?" MY ARSE!

2008-04-06T05:06:00.001+05:30

TELETUBBIES suck! Those puny bastards hopping, running and dancing around like mindless freaks make me want to skin some Hip Hop "artists" inside out! YUCK! The show is supposed to be an "educational" show for kids but what it actually ends up being is an epitome of stupidity,inanity and grotesque characters that apparently scar the children emotionally for life. The one called "Tinky-Winky" is a total Queer! That jackass with all the hopping and dancing around carries a handbag.....and is violet and enjoys Micheal Bolton and Rap music during breaks. JACKASS INDEED! All these dipshits do is waddle around and have fun all day. IDIOTS!They all are loud, talk nonsense, annoying like the new MARIGOLD Commercial! I HATE that bullshit commercial! Who in their right senses would come up with such a pile of Lemur shit?!

BATMAN FINALLY UNMASKED?!

2008-03-29T20:06:00.001+05:30

The "Happiest" place on earth....

2008-03-29T05:19:00.000+05:30

Tsk tsk tsk Lois trying to ruin all the boy's fun....

Queer Robin: Ooooh the water looks fine and look Archie Andrews from Archie comics and Jimmy is in there too!(not surprisingly)
Queer Batman: (to Supes) *wink wink*

Perhaps all these years of cocktease from Betty and Veronica has finally taken a toll on poor ol' Carrot top!

First look : Untitled Manga

2008-03-20T02:00:00.000+05:30

Now that I've got some time off(very fucking brief) from uni, I can trap my neighbor's kids and that motherfucking whispering smear of slime Sean Kingston and eat them and yes finally work on my long delayed manga project! After a mind-numbing and tiresome 4 months I'm finally free to go ahead with it. As of now I'm still working on the character designs which are in their initial stages and are subject to go through a battery of alterations and revision if necessary. Here's one of the main characters that I've been working on: Ayumi

Well this is what I came up with today, though she does apparently need a lot of work but I am quite happy with how she came out: "cute"(hopefully). Still gotta go a long way!

IT'S HARVEST TIME!!!

2008-03-18T02:46:00.000+05:30

Bobby Joe can do some serious ass kicking and still love his Kenny G & Micheal Bolton music collection at the same time and still never feel any less of a man!

Won't you come out to play?

2008-03-18T02:07:00.000+05:30

Little Patricia wants you,
To come play with her along with me.
She's me very pal,
I take her for walks and I hope I always shall.
Some people don't like her,
Those yellow little brats!
She eats them for breakfast with,
Special rat genitalia sauce which she got from Jack.
She sings like David Bowie so I call her Ronnie.
So that's me pal Little Pattie whom I call Ronnie,
A demented cannibalistic psychopath,
But I love her more than daddie,
And I'm only 20.

More Peculiar Junk

2008-03-18T00:53:00.000+05:30

NO. I don't want to talk about it.

Moonlight squirts....

2008-03-18T00:16:00.000+05:30

"Shizuka Trump" thinks that her brains would rather look good up on the wall, I think all she needs is someone who could help her, get her out of her despair.... too bad, I don't feel like typing, she's a bitch anyways, ooh love what she's done with the wall by the way...

Winter chills & Hockey sticks....

2008-02-12T21:00:00.000+05:30

Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post
Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post Filler Post This is just a Filler Post. What a surprise no?

ROTTING FLESH FEST!!!

2008-01-02T21:56:00.001+05:30

Some recent sketches from my sketchbook got nothing else better to do in uni' anyways. I particularly like the last three ones specially the soldier. Boy, got to say it, zombies and all things related are way too much fun! Now back to those dry, dull, mind-numbing uni' assignments....*groan*

The girl with the faraway eyes...

2007-12-30T03:36:00.001+05:30

The holidays, the festive season etc, etc is here; but haven't got the chance to do something new recently, so thought I'd continue working on some old abandoned project of mine. Here is my attempt at doing the "girl with the faraway eyes" Audrey Tautou in photoshop. Just trying to channel this unhealthy obsession I have with her into something productive. Half way through it, it hit me again, I should have just left it alone! lol maybe it may take me years to actually complete this one besides ain't that keen either, so don't really care about it!

For my half-assed attempt from before, I'd to like make-up(to myself of course), so here are some(very minute) of my favourite Audrey Tautou pictures (anyone who doesn't know who she is...go away you all turtle slime, you all are a "load" your mothers should have "swallowed" that night!) Anyway enjoy these pics:

1)

2)

3)Who wouldn't love her here(Amelie)

That's enough. Will sleep now. For 12 days.

The DOOG Chronicles: Spider Stew and Liquid Plutonium!

2007-12-09T21:05:00.001+05:30

Taking a break from all the ass-kickin' I've been doing, I decided to take a routine bath in molten lava like always......

As I was to relax and mull over the subject of Sophie Howard's nipples in my beloved molten lava that I ordered Lucifer himself to get it from the bosoms of hell itself....to my fright I found a spider the size of a house in my tub, but as common sense kicked in...I realized that it's lava no one can survive in it except for me and L.K. Advani!

Somehow managing to take out the smoked 8 legged freak from my tub along with some hot bath water and adding sugar and spice with everything nice;

With the holidays around the corner and like the good hearted person I am *ahem*, I dropped by the local orphanage to gift the little brats! err...I mean little bundles of joy a taste of my scrumptious cooking in my precious Tupperware. Oh how they all enjoyed and cherished every second and spoonful of my blissful stew!

Later that night in the outer core of the Earth, where I mostly live in the winter smoking some liquid plutonium and along with some of my satisfied clients of my ass-kicking service,(only one of them, the nun is from the orphanage) and was about to watch Back To The Future Trilogy on laser disk and eat dynamite for dinner like usual in my Tupperware, I couldn't find it! Those brats from the orphanage! Little bastards! I won't let them get away with not returning my beloved Tupperware! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! They paid! They paid alright! After I shredded those puny little devils jumping and skipping for their lives, I digested them all telekinetically, and I wasn't even hungry!

Joan Sweet Joan!

2007-12-09T04:19:00.000+05:30

If I'd want to change one thing about the middle ages, it would be Joan of Arc. Of course my version of her(above) would be bloodhound,blonde, a bust of 34(hehehe) and of course in a planet far away in a different galaxy all together! Now that's how I want my saints!

"JOIN US"!

2007-10-07T23:15:00.000+05:30

Oh man I rule! Look how awesome I look as a zombie! Zombies. Ahhh, zombies. What is it about these creatures that attracts me to them?
I would have to answer that question like this: “I'm just a sick freak who uses the cinematic visions of the undead feasting on the living as a release from the everyday monotony of life.”

Here is my homage to the ultimate "cabin in the woods" zombie movie ever; THE EVIL DEAD TRILOGY. Everything about this movies rocks! The first part is the quintessential film school movie and yeah the it's scary as hell! 2 is good but Sam Raimi kind of fused in humor and stuff in it, don't get me wrong Evil Dead 2 is fun;Bruce Campbell totally owned it;but I go to a horror movie for the "horror" and Evil Dead 1 is just perfect! Also worth mentioning is Army of Darkness(the 3rd installment) CAMPBELL RULES!!!

AT THE DINNER PARTY

2007-09-06T21:37:00.000+05:30

Mrs. Lecter, the "Vagina Stew" was particularly exquisite.

Some really old junk!

2007-09-02T03:39:00.002+05:30

Last week while going through some junk, found a real gem! Five years back I did some work on Gotham comics Superhero Contest, the real concept drawing for the character(left) I did in 2002 and my last year uni campaign for my very own comic(right). Well I do take great comfort in the fact that my women look a LOT better then they used to! ...Well at least they look like a woman!
By the way, the concept drawing never reached Gotham Comics, the courier company lost it somewhere! GROAN....still hurts!

There's a cake somewhere in here...

2007-09-01T21:53:00.001+05:30

Will do. All of you.

I guess my uncreativeness makes me "creative"!

2007-08-12T23:48:00.001+05:30

For the past few days I've been stressed with this fucking creative mental block and therefore couldn't come up with anything(sounds like a great excuse to goof clients off). To get out of this rather thwarting experience, I soughted out to acquire some "inspiration"!

So people without any further ado, I give you all my secret...
THE BRAINSTORMER/SMASHER!
This is it! This marvellous equipment is what gets me through all those heavy-duty brainstorming sessions. It truly and efficiently gets your creative juices out and flowing... LITERALLY!!! Squeezes it out and some of the brain matter too. (effects vary-severe brain damage to even more severe brain damage- total pulverization) Try it and you'll see what I mean. Hurry today!!! Call: 983333333333113333365744745322342324!

**Drawing board and one artist's headless (but satisfied) corpse not included**

Colney...Photoshopped!!

2007-08-10T23:40:00.002+05:30

Sketch of me bud Christina Colney done on photoshop. Just some fun 5 minute excersice and of course for her(particularly to end her excessive nagging to get me to draw her)

It's been a tough week...

2007-08-10T20:35:00.002+05:30

Don't even ask! ...all I remember is a bottle of whiskey and someone playing Britney Spears!!! GAAAAH!!