Paninometti: 10 Years Of

Calm down Pablo...
 NO.
...Peter Andre is not releasing a new album! 
(whew!) 

 NO.
...they are not allowing Ben Affleck back into civilization
after "Daredevil"! 
  (whew!)

NO!! NO!!!
WRONG AGAIN YOU TWERP!!!
...Brazil is NOT the capital of Sweden!!
(...I think...)

It's only that...
...PANINOMETTI IS 10, 4 YEARS OLD!!!!! 


......

err... Let's move on...


Pablo here loves Paninometti. You'd think Pablo here just witnessed
something unimaginably terrifying, ghastly, something utterly repulsive, 
but NO! This is a face of a person hopelessly in love.
A love so strong that it's left Pablo here speechless.
I'm not making this up.


Pablo here loves Paninometti. Look into these eyes.
Such warmth, such fondness. These are obviously the eyes of someone
who is passionately in love and love, love and love only!


Over the years, with its critical observations, thought-provoking essays on the human condition, Paninometti naturally has etched a deep impact and influence on the social consensus, evoking a cultural zeitgeist, 
of such significance not experienced since the Macarena.


Here’s what people have to say about Paninometti:




....


SERIOUSLY ....ANYBODY?!


“I should have left you in the gutter where I found you!”
      -The author’s mother after reading Paninometti.

"Shut up mother! Why do you always have to embarrass me in public?!
Gosh! I hate you!  Why won't you hug me?! Please hold me... its so cold...
...WAAAAAAHHH!!!"
-The author's err... look-alike... to the real author's mother.

"Go away GUTTERBOY!"
-The real author's mother to the real author's look-alike
who is not the real author. No.No.No.

“…perfectly reflecting the times in which we thrive in, provides a snapshot of our world and the cultural evolution at a critical juncture. Paninometti fails to do so in every possible way… Massively!
      - Paris Hilton (influential carpentry critic)

Reading this makes me want to sharply beat myself up with rocks!
- A casual reader

"GREAT God! Oranges are SO AWESOME!! The best... I just loveitt!!"
- A very enthusiastic Steve Jobs on his favourite fruit Paninometti.

"I'll be back... to Paninometti."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
- Rhett Butler

On the occasion of this important occasion occasion, the worldwide media flocked to rural Louisiana and asked a tree how it felt about this important occasion occasion occasion.




Paninometti Timeline:
  • 1992: The author’s classmate complains “Duuuuuude, your blog Paninometti sucks!”
  • 2007: Paninometti created.
  • 2001: In the small town of Húsavíkurbær on the peninsula Tjörnes near the agricultural area Reykjahverfi in north east Iceland, little Guðrún Sigurðardóttir (not related to Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir) sneezes for the first time.
  • 2003: That classmate unfortunately dies.The author celebrates by doing a victory dance in front of the grieving parents and relatives of the deceased during the funeral.
  • 2003: That was the last time the author was welcomed in their home.
  • 2003:  Jesus ate a Bean Burrito on September 4th.
  • 2007: The blog suffers a miscarriage.
  • 2007: The blog later confesses to chain smoking while being pregnant.
  •  2002:
    • 2009: The blog goes Super Saiyan 4!
    • 2006: Oprah Winfrey likes it up her arse since 2006.
    • 2007:  The blog reinvents the wheel.
    • 2007:  Mick Jagger dies.
    • 2009: The blog confesses to possessing weapons of mass destruction.
    • 2009: The author amid great media frenzy confesses to using baby powder as a tool of manipulation.
    • 1,600,000 BCE – 300,000 BCE: The blog discovers fire.
    • 2009: The blog cares about Tajikistan.
    • 2008: Lehman Brothers executives along with several other firms reveal having read Paninometti regularly. Market pundits believe the blog was the main reason for the global market crash.
    • 2008: The blog happily offers to castrate (or to burn alive) all the members of MNS and the likes of them.
    • 2010: The blog still doesn’t give a damn about the whole “Marathi-only in Bombay” debacle. And will never. Ever.
    • 2010: Yes, its always going to be Bombay for the blog.
    • 2010: The blog thinks the new series of Doctor Who is absolutely brilliant!
    • 2004: The blog briefly took up vocal duties and fronted Van Halen after Sammy Hagar’s departure.
    • 2005:  
    • 2006: The author marries Monica Roccaforte. They divorce a year later. Roccaforte since, has frequently been sighted canoodling in public with the blog but both of them have denied any romantic allegations and insist on being just “good friends”. R-i-i-ight.   
    • 2010: The blog confessed to tricking children into believing that they can fly. 8 have tried. All of them failed.  
    • 2009: The blog fires the author citing creative differences but they quickly make up thanks to their mutual respect and fondness for sandwiches.  
    • 2009: The blog successfully recreates the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan with its dinner at a family dinner party, it was universally panned.  
    • 2009: The blog successfully builds a Flux Capacitor and travels back into time to the year 2000 and shoots 50 cent 9 times yet failing to kill him (DARN!) dejected, it later travels to 1989 and (just for fun)  kicks a young Shahrukh Khan’s arse SO hard, he still stutters to this day while talking and later unsuccessfully attempts to persuade a pregnant Mrs. Hitler to abort.  
    • 2010: The blog is currently planning on traveling back to the year 1982 when Mr.Abhishek Bachchan was in the 4th grade and make a complete fool out of him in front of the whole school, so he develops a massive low self-esteem issue, thus barring him from never-EVER considering performing in front of an audience (HA! He has an audience?! HA!). You’re welcome.  
    • 2010:  The blog gives a big “FUCK YOU” to the MSEB.  
    • 2010:  "FUCK YOU MSEB!"  
    • 2010: 
    • 2010:  
    • 2010: The blog wants to buy an Ukulele.  
    • 2010:  
    • 2010: Yawn  
    • 2010: The blog is tired now. Sleep.